Why can't I find love? Why is it that I'm cursed to fall in love? Everytime I try I fail, why? Why can't you girls see that I love you, is it that blurry to realize it when I'm caring and loving for you fearing I might never see you again? I'm tired of not having anyone there beside me, someone to care about other than myself someone to talk to when I need to, someone to just. . . be there. . . . . I'm so fucking tired. I really feel like I don't want to go on anymore without someone. I hate it when people tell me relationships suck, I mean I understand why but hell at least you have someone. I've never had a girl in my life, and to be honest considering that I've never had anyone I've really grown a high value for a girl and a relationship in my life, so whoever that might be that comes into my life is really really going to be loved, smothered, and cared for by me, I might even spoil her too much in fact well at least to what I can spoil her with. But of course like all things in my life it's just a dream that I always have in my mind and I know I will be loveless for the next couple of years, I just know it for some strange reason, I've never felt more lonely in my entire life then I do now. I don't want to try and love again just to be shot down again, I can't take that pain again it's too much to bare. Gah. . . .

I'm sorry everyone who comes by to read this but my life really sucks right now well it actually always has to be honest but there's just nothing left or much of me the more and more it continues but I just don't know what to do about it anymore? I'm just using my blog as a way to reach out if anyone listens or reads this. I don't know I just really really want to get out in life and make something of myself but I can't I don't have anything to begin a life with. Love is the least and yet it's the most of my problems. . . . gah.

What can I honestly do????

I feel like one of those love songs where every lyric I can relate to.