Soul Searching

I don't get this but I do understand it in a way. How is it wrong to care so much about someone when it feels right to tell them how much you care and love em? I've lost past soulmates I always hoped to be with to this style of life. Love is great and it's great to feel it but it's hard when you don't have or know anyone that seems right for you nor when anybody doesn't want to be with you.

What am I supposed to do?

I tell myself I don't want to believe anymore but I know it's a lie, I can't live my life without someone but yet I can't find her either. . . maybe I have and I just don't realize it. . . . yet I hope she will be who I'm looking for when I do. What I fear the most is when I do find someone again will I end up screwing up again on accident because of my own stupidity, it will be terrible for me and I don't want to go through life without that person it's too much to bare unless I absolutely have to. I feel like I should just be silent and not say a word, take a vow of silence, but I don't want to seem anti-social, I can't not say anything. Or should I?

What I'm wondering about the most is when I do find someone and when I become such a great friend to her will she not want to lose who I am and as a friend in her life to a relationship? Because of what can happen in a relationship. I hate how a relationship can tear people apart so profoundly that they don't care anymore.

I'm not a sad person but when you don't have anybody your life becomes so sad and hard to live without someone, so this is the only reason why I can think of of why people don't like to care anymore, because of either cheating, they don't love you anymore, or because of just disfunction in the relationship. Then you end up miserable and life doesn't go the way you need it to be when you don't have that someone there so you have to be strong when you feel weak and just merely survive the afterflow of life since that someone made you strong to live but weakened you after they left.

But then you're in love again and you're life is happy again and you feel like yourself, a new life, a new will to live, everything is refreshed. What you've known in the past is that, the past, but the past always catches up with you later on but one of the only things you can do is confront the past, you can make the past the present life of your life today or make it another lost memory in your mind and forget about them. I'm not the forgetter type so when the past comes back I enjoy it.

However either way, I don't think I'll ever stop believing in my life because I just can't I don't want to even if it is hard I don't care even though I do, I'll just have to make it easy on myself to bare if somehow things do go wrong and we seperate. But I love being with someone and holding on to them, I really don't ever want to let go and I want to hold on as long as I can. I'm human if it didn't affect me I wouldn't be human. I love to love and I honestly love missing someone because it means I care and I just love it when someone misses me too, I love getting I miss you messages, I just do, they're great.

Oh how I just want to feel a loves lovely feminine arms, legs, and body of the opposite sex wrapped around me, holding me. How great of a feeling that is for the body, heart, mind and most importantly the soul.

Mavin's floating into outer space with a writer

My bestfriend Mikey has a new blog full with literature of every sort. This is the writer of that poem I posted a little while ago called "Mystery, Crime, and Love makes for a wonderful romance novel", his language for writing is ever more so creative. When you read his writings you're left with a open heart of love for his literature, swelling bigger and brighter while growing wider with the anticipation for him to write his next post. Tales of life experiences, lessons, and loves that he has experienced in the past he writes in his own way, in a story of his own, things that affect each and every one of us in our daily lives, he fulfills it with an explanation known to his mind.

Mystery Seekers Inc.

Take care and enjoy everyone. :D

Lessons for life from a tale of a Haiku

A blogger that I've always found intriguing Princess Haiku tagged me for an interesting meme.

The meme was just for kicks, the rules were to list five to ten courses or lessons you would take to help improve your life then continue the meme by tagging 5 of your blog friends (or as many as you know if you don't know 5) to do the same and involve a blog friend that you would like to take along with you for one of the courses.

I've never done a meme before myself but there's a first time for everything so here it goes. . .


First off, I would take the lessons for becoming a better guitar performer, so far for a beginner I've learned a lot for teaching myself but however I'm still lacking in talent. I know talent comes over time but without the help of others and knowing better it's more difficult for the talent to come naturally while the time goes by. But I also want to learn other instruments as well other than just the guitar. During most times in my life I revolve around the sound of music and have always wanted to be able to play certain songs on instruments but everything takes time so I have to wait it out and play more and more while I watch the time fly by.


Second, I would take the lessons of learning the art of drawing. Honestly one of my most deepest desires in my life even more than playing guitar is to be able to draw. Drawing opens the mind to a new portal of photographic memory and enhances your creativity beyond what you've known.


Third would be my life long dream to learn the hardest language, Japanese. I love Japanese culture and hope some day I will happen to live in Japan. But not only does learning another language and living in another country assimilate you more culturally but it transforms your way of everyday thinking. I'd definitely take Princess Haiku with me for this class, knowing she's so culturally integrated I know she'd absolutely love it. :D


My fourth course would be to take creative writing, even though I write a lot I would love to take a creative writing course and be able to read and write more artistically. :D


Fifth, I would take piloting lessons to fly, I know I'm becoming a jet mechanic but knowing how to build planes and knowing to fly them are two completely different things.


I love insects absolutely love insects not the bad kind though like mosquitoes and roaches but almost every insect I love so my sixth course would be to take Entomology.


Seventh would be sky diving lessons, I'm not afraid of heights and would love to know the feeling of flying falling down with gravity, I can only imagine how that would feel. That would be such a rush and an experience.


Last but not least would be to take a Meteorology course, I love everything there is about weather. Whether it's sunsets, winds, clouds and most importantly thunderstorms, I cannot get enough of thunderstorms, of course I take shelter during a thunderstorm but I'll stand outside as the lightning is striking outside that's how much I love thunderstorms. As for tornadoes and hurricanes, I would love to see one and the power they have but I would not want to be in ones path and deal with the destruction and loss of lives, no thanks.


I don't know who likes to do memes so here's a few that I know that love to learn.

When a light burns out you have to light a candle only for the candle to go out later.

Keep the candles lit if you will. . . .

Hippie Parade


Iceland Elf


Creations of Another Nature


Mystic Rose


Friar Style


Also anyone that comes by is welcome to feel free to do it too.

Nature at it's best

^A yellow jacket hornet nest in my backyard.^

^Look carefully in this photo and you'll see a White Tailed Hawk.^

Life At A Stand Still

One day is up and the other can be down,

Life can make me happy or let me frown,

I need to have a car so I can drive to another town,

To be able to get away and refresh my own sound.