Saturday, December 19, 2009

The start of something, fo sho!




So I've found someone again for like the 10th time now in my life, but she's completely different unlike the others in my past, I can be with this awesome chica for an eternity, I swear she's amazing!!! But sadly and of course just my dumb luck, she's taken. God I love meeting someone like this but I'm sooooo tired of being too late to be with them. Sure I can wait and good things come to those who wait but I don't wanna wait anymore I'm dying to be with someone loving, I've waited years to be with someone isn't it time in my life to be with someone for the first time in my life, finally I've found someone who wants to be with me and loves me but of course like always they're always with someone else, it never ends with me finding someone I've been dying to find just to know that I can't be with her. I just melt everytime I see her, everytime I see her I just wanna snuggle next to her, feel her warmth in the winter cold air, and hold her tightly and hear her heart beat in my ear. God just thinking about it drives me nuts! Someone that's so passionate about life so riveting about being with me. It saddens me soo much that I can't be with her, fo sho! We're so perfect together! Sometimes I think it's not fair that I can't be with her, why am I forsaken me with this fate of meeting someone that I can't be with for the 1000th time in my life with someone soooo great and gorgeous? Why am I being emotionally tortured to hang out with this great person but I can't get too close because she's not mine? I pray and pray for that one to come to me and she did without my help she just came up to me and hung out with me and it was the best thing in my life! I've only had 2 girls that I could be with forever in my life to do that and she is one of the two, the other was Heather 3 years ago. Oh my god she's so smart too! Smarter than me, she's funny, she's cute, god and I love her so much. She has a great taste in music, there's nothing I could ask more for with her! There's no way you can't love this beautiful girl she's amazing, her personality is just well. . . . . . . what can I say her personality is just. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . amazingly comforting. Sometimes I wish and wish god would just let her break up with her boyfriend she's with now with no problem nor pain but, I feel so bad for wishing for that and it's wrong too but at the same time I feel it's so right when you know someone shouldn't be with someone I mean why be with someone you're not happy with? Why? There's no reason why except. . . . for the love you feel for them which is usually very strong. But oh well I can't be the judge of people and of someone else's life that's not mine and I'm not and never will force anyone to do something that they don't want to, it's up to them to do what they want whether bad or good for them. It's a sad song when things don't work out as they should, but then again if you think about it and think that things should work out in life, life wouldn't be a challenge of finding a way to overcome that challenge. So I'm just gonna wait and see how life works out for me again, like a ticking clock, I'm back at zero hour in my loveless life again, fo sho!



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