All you feel is a fuzzy haze grasping your heart and mind, never letting go during this time.
After everything seems to be lost in a time of dismay the only thing that holds you together is the feelings and thoughts of that special someone being by your side when they're not. . . . . . :(
and it makes you feel a little more uncomfortable. . .
wondering when that someone will come hold your hand and keep it warm.
What the hell happened, what clouded every clear piece of my life when everything was just recently going along fine?
Why do things always have to go downhill even further and not better, I just want to be loved again which makes me happy but never has it yet happened for me, I need someone but I don't know what mistakes it is that I made in the past that makes whoever it is run from me? Will I know what to do next time in the future?
Is it wrong to have deep feeling, should I have just left everything alone without it? Never feeling anything for anything. What's going to happen if I don't find anyone, what I'm going to turn into when no one is ever there? Did I ever mean something or anything to anyone? What happens to me as I transform from one time, love, and person to the next? Something crashed, something fell, something broke, and something disappeared. . . . . . But I know when that someone ends up finding me and finds out my personality, she will never be able to let go of me, I just don't when, where, how and how much longer?
I want to give up, but I don't, cus I know sooner or later something will give in, in due time, but it's just waiting it out that's the hardest part.
I really just feel like yelling at the top of my lungs releasing everything out, yelling til my voice is gone and doesn't come back for weeks. :O But I don't. . . .
It won't fix anything, I don't know what ever will but time and that someone?
But after I calmed down, I was thinking to myself and realized this. Everything is so simple you just have to see through it, I'm tired of everyone being so serious I dislike things being so serious but i do understand why things are serious in life because that's life but, I want to see smiles, I want to tell jokes and to make and see friends and people laugh, to see their eyes widen with joy. To listen to music and sing along, to write out words and read them from others. To see others enjoy their one they love, it makes me happy even if it makes me sad and lonely at the same time since I don't have anyone but I appreciate love even more when I do. But that's life and life can take you down any road. So you control the steering wheel and drive along the highway of many obstacles in your path and run them over.
:D
Everyone, please excuse me for this post, I'm very and really sorry. but I had bad day, horrible past week, and one extremely lonely and confounding time.
I'm very sorry.
But it felt very good to write it out. :)
3 comments:
Sorry everyone, I had a crappy, very sad and lonely day today. And I've been very busy I can't stop to think to myself. Things just haven't been going well for me lately in the past week.
But things with me are fine now. :D
But whoever comments here thanks for understanding.
Oh Mavin, we do understand. Everybody has blue days and nights. Lonely days. Crappy days. And when we least expect it, the sun comes creeping out, and we realize there's a reason for every little hitch in the roadtrip, and looking back, wouldn't change a thing, because after all, that's how we made it to today....Wishing you peace, my friend, and better days
Hey Singleton, thank you for understanding. We do have these days sometimes too much and you're left with nothing in the end. I wouldn't change anything either the way i am is perfect. :)
I was late with posting this, I was supposed to post it a less than week ago but never did, I had saved this post and it just sitting there til i came back to it and wrote a little more to it.
Peace and better days are coming, I'm just waiting for them to come.
take care.
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