Three posts of who I am as a person, if you comment or read please be understanding.....

Gah I swear I don't know anymore about what it is that I love. All love does to me is fuck me over and I'm screwed. Why, you might ask? Because everytime I let myself love or care or something of the sort, this is what I'm left with, nothing but hell and depression. People say things get better over time but all that's become better for me over time was everything getting worse. I used to love so much, I used to care about everything, now I just don't know. I don't know what brought all this sorrow into my life? If it's the family disfunction, never being loved by a girl so I don't have someone by my side to help me through any of this, not having my complete life like a car place of my own going to college ect... or my friends all seperating or all the above and that's not even the tip of the iceberg of my problems. I don't know I guess this is the adult life even as much as I saw this coming and prepared for it I still wasn't ready and it still sucks hardcorely. I haven't ever been able to be me since I was born, I just to be happy for once. I'm just so damn tired, very very mentally tired.....


Pardon my language.